I subtitled this blog “Becoming a Woman After God’s Own Heart” because is there anything else better to be? I have always been drawn to David because he is identified this way. We as women are deeply connected to the heart of things, and what better heart to be connected to than God’s.
Acts 13: 22 “And when He had removed him (Saul) He raised unto them David to be their King to whom He also gave their testimony and said I have found David, the son of Jesse, a man after mine own heart, which shall fulfill all my will.”
Let’s get back to David. Here’s a little background.
After killing Goliath, King Saul made David a part of his household. David married his daughter Michal and began a very close relationship with Saul’s son Jonathan. God had said that David would be the new king. How far David had come from being a lowly shepherd tending sheep.
But in 1 Samuel 19, things began to change for David. All of a sudden, some of Saul’s old character flaws began to creep back up. He was overcome with jealousy of David. He realized that the Lord was with David and that frightened him. He foolishly made David (and the Lord) his enemy and sought to kill him. David had no ill will toward Saul. He didn’t understand how this man who he was so close to could suddenly turn on him. David was afraid for his life.
So he ran.
It is during this time on the run, going from town to town, cave to cave, that many of the Psalms of David are written.
He was separated from his family, friends, home, and lifestyle and brought to flee in a desert.
Imagine David’s state of mind as he goes from being promised the kingdom to being stripped of every earthly thing that brought him joy. God removed every distraction, good and bad, so that David had no choice but to rely on him. And it is through this complete reliance on God that David’s heart became so intertwined with His that there was no separating the two. This complete desertion of his earthly amenities led to complete devotion to God.
Has God ever brought you to a place of complete reliance on Him? A vast desert with no relief except through prayer and devotion?
He has definitely done this for me. Several times in my life he has dropped me in the middle of a desert with only one lifeline. When I moved 3 hours away and struggled with homesickness. Making it through post-partum depression after having my son. Being led to a new job full of unforeseen challenges and the difficulty of forming and navigating new relationships. When looking around, I was confused, hurt and angry. Why is this happening God? Why is everything so hard? Why do you want me to suffer? But as soon as the dust settles and my life returns to normal, I turn and look back with envy, realizing that I am never so close to God as when I am all alone.
Walking out of that time spent alone with God, David was renewed. The thing about David is that having a heart intertwined with God did not automatically make him perfect. He still sinned. Oh, did he sin. But the true measure of his closeness to God was how quickly he repented.
Our own proximity to God can be measured the same way. How quickly does our behavior change when we are convicted of our sins? The closer we are to Him, the more deeply the Spirit dwells in us and the easier it is to hear those discerning convictions.
One quality that made David “a man after God’s own heart” was his proximity to God. If we want that same closeness to God, it does not come as a result of slaying the Goliaths in our own life, but of humbly walking through the deserts, low, but not alone.